What Not to Wear (but do, every day)

Apparently there was once this TV show that would go around and interview random people on the street and ask them what they were wearing (labels) and then would critique the outfit in the studio. This probably caused an entire nation to critically examine their closets in the morning (these are clearly young adults without children), or (sensibly) avoid the TV crews on the street. I can only shudder to think what they would say about my daily attire as a mom.

First of all, let me start by saying that I work from home. This implies two things: my child is in full-time preschool (or let’s be real, daycare) and secondly, I can wear what I want around the house. But there’s this brief period of time called “drop-off” and “pick-up” when I have to look “presentable,” and even I draw the line at wearing my colorful pink giraffe print pajamas out of the house (thanks Victoria’s Secret!).

So every morning, I brush my teeth, put in my contacts, do something sensible with my hair (e.g. quick up-do or ponytail), and put on an outfit for the preschool parade of parents (whom this is all for, since the kids would probably appreciate pink giraffe print). To add some complexity to the situation, I am still in that in between size where most of my pre-pregnancy clothes do not fit in a flattering manner, and I am just plain too stubborn to buy bigger clothes. Thus my clothing choices are mostly limited to a the few tops and bottoms that are appropriate (e.g. no flesh showing where it should not) and vaguely comfortable. So my daily wardrobe for her (kind of elitist, private) preschool is as follows:

• yoga bottoms
• yoga tank
• semi-cute hoodie or fleece jacket
• cute sneakers or flipflops or faux-fur boots (weather dependent)
• hair up and out of my face

On a REALLY good day, a light film of foundation and some mascara, maybe some chapstick that I slick on after my daughter is done playing with my makeup set (she’s only allowed to play with the brushes and chapstick – no Toddlers and Tiaras here).

This isn’t too bad, because my gym IS across the street and I do sometimes go after drop-off. But here’s the thing. As soon as I get home, I change back into pajamas. Because comfortable as yoga clothes are on me, I really prefer the extra roominess of wide legged PJ bottoms. And sometimes, after a busy day in my office, I kind of forget exactly which yoga outfit I wore that morning. If I’m really industrious, I put on “real clothes” to pick her up, keeping up the pretense that I went to the gym after drop-off and I am now presentable.

But more often than not, I put my yoga clothes back on for pick-up as well. So I have to wonder, what do others’ think when they see me? That I’m perpetually dressed for a yoga class that I never actually attend? That I go to yoga after dropping her off, go home and shower and change into identical yoga clothes, then go to another class at night? No, I’m pretty sure the gig is up and they know I’m just slumming it at home and barely making an effort for them. C’est la vie.