Happiest Place on Earth

A friend of mine asked for some thoughts on going to Disney World with her 3 and 6 year old daughters (their first time visiting the park). I thought I would post it here in case anyone else was interested in our thoughts (and my response because a bit too wordy for email!). Here goes:

We had a wonderful time at Disney over the holidays (Bob AND Charlotte's first time) and I did a ton of research before booking our trip.

We booked through Disney and applied for the Disney credit card. Disney online travel site had a wonderful promotion going on at the time and we received our 7-day meal plan for free for two adults (Charlotte was free/ineligible since she's under 3, but that's fine since she eats off my plate anyway!). If you pay for it with your Disney credit card, you also get 6 months of 0 APR, which wasn't a huge deal for us, but it's still nice (I guess 6 months of the full amount in our savings account would earn us something like $28 if that ;).

We stayed on the resort (Animal Kingdom Lodge) and I would strongly recommend staying on the resort. You have to pay for parking every day if you stay off-resort ($14/day - possibly each time if you leave the resort) and the resort is HUGE so you would end up having to drive 30 minutes from your hotel to each park. The on-resort hotels have shuttle buses that run all the time, plus (big perk), they allow guests staying in the resorts to have extra hours at each park. The extra morning hours are really nice because you can beat the crowds getting in the park and bypass some of the longer lines (we rode "it's a small world" twice back-to-back with no lines).

I would highly recommend Animal Kingdom Lodge if your girls are into animals. It's a really beautiful hotel overall, but being able to see giraffes and zebras and other animals outside your balcony? Priceless. But if you're going to spend most of your time at Magic Kingdom (which you might do since they're 3 and 6, although you might also really like Hollywood Studios), you can also stay at the Contemporary (?) that has a monorail that runs straight to Magic Kingdom. If you go for the deluxe level hotels, get the concierge club. We did at Animal Kingdom and it was totally worth it. They have snacks (and coffee!!) and drinks all day from 6:30am - 10pm and it was a lifesaver between meals if she wanted milk to drink or we needed coffee. It's also a separate lounge with comfy seats and tvs and tables and a nice place to chill before dinner, and we weren't stuck in our rooms when we weren't at the parks.

I don't think the park hopper or the no expiration dates were worth it. We had no problem just doing one park per day (but we did get the 7-day pass, so we had ample time to do every park twice except one). But since your girls are older, you might want the park hopper. I just didn't think it was worth it - there's plenty to see to spend one whole day (at least) at each park.

We didn't do the water parks (thank goodness!) because it was December and she's still in diapers. Turns out, it was in the 40's when we were there, so the water park would have been a real waste of time. In April though, you might really like it. I can't say one way or the other since we didn't do it. I did feel like there are plenty of water parks everywhere and I would rather spend the extra days at Disney rather than a water park.

Dining plan - this is really hard to say. On one hand, we received it for free as part of our vacation package, so it wasn't a waste of money (although we could have gotten a % off the total package and not gotten the meal plan at all and that would have saved more money I suppose). I liked that it meant less thinking and headaches with planning the trip. BUT the meal plans include an entree, a drink (non-alcoholic), and a dessert at every meal (one sit-down, one fast-food) and a snack, so three "meals" per day. I thought getting a dessert at every meal (instead of say, an appetizer or salad) got old after the first day. We're not really big dessert people, so it was just a waste. The next level up where you get three meals a day also includes an appetizer and dessert and entree, which is honestly just way, way too much food (proportion-wise, although I suppose the variety is nice and you could just taste a bit of each dish). Also, this is where the concierge club totally makes its money back - we had breakfast up there everyday and they had a wonderful spread. No protein, but oatmeal and cereal and fruit and croissants and cream cheese and pastries and an amazing coffee/espresso machine and loads of drinks. The concierge club also had: breakfast -> snacks -> afternoon tea -> wine and cheese (+hot hors devours) -> dessert and night caps (alcoholic). So next time, we will not get the dining plan but we will definitely get the concierge club.

A word about the restaurants (and another reason why we didn't like the meal plans): almost all of them require reservations. We didn't realize this and thought only the more popular ones required reservations (like the character meals - you should book these as soon as you book the vacation, you can do it up to 120 days before and they fill up very quickly). But we tried to get lunch or dinner at some places (sit-down restaurants) and they had 2 hour waits. Luckily, the concierge club was able to make us a couple of reservations, but we still had a hard time. And when your meal plan is one sit-down and one quick-serve a day, you have to use up your 7 sit-downs (they are not interchangeable with the quick-serve). However, the meal plan does allow you to use them in whatever order you want - so you can do all your quick-serve meals first, then use your sit-downs, or whatever you want. They just expire on midnight of the day you check-out of your hotel. Again, this is another argument for NOT doing the dining plan and just having the freedom to eat wherever you want at your convenience. But if you do want to dine at the sit-down restaurants, you will want to make reservations. I thought the Coral Reef restaurant at Epcot was totally worth it. They seat you next to a huge coral reef aquarium and you get to watch incredible fish and turtles and sharks while you eat (the food was fantastic as well).

Also, if you stay at the resorts, you get complimentary shuttle service roundtrip to/from the airport AND baggage service. So, check your baggage in at your home airport and it will make its way to your hotel room. Voila! And on the way back? They will check you into your flight at the hotel and check your baggage for you - just step into the shuttle with your carry-on luggage and you're done. SO worth it (at least for us with a toddler in tow). Charlotte was still napping also (she's 2 1/2), so the complimentary shuttles and being closer to our hotel was also really important to getting her home in time for naps.

Pack for warm weather, but also toss in a few things for extreme weather. We ended up spending almost $200 on three sweatshirts/jackets because the temps plummeted and I had packed for warm weather (which at the time of packing, it was predicted to be high 60's, low 70's). At least throw in a few layering pieces and a nice warm coat.

I don't know if you are still using a stroller or not, but the rentals are expensive ($15/day) and even if the girls do not need a stroller, it's kind of nice to have one to throw your things in for the day (bottles of water, camera, jackets, souvenirs you buy in the parks, etc.). I would bring a cheapie umbrella stroller that you can double as a shopping cart and that you don't mind parking in the stroller parking lots and you won't fear having it stolen. We found it to be really useful when you're walking all day long to have the stroller as an extra pair of hands (she wanted to be carried a lot and went in her stroller only occasionally).

FASTPASS – you can get tickets to really popular rides with long wait times and then come back at a later time (printed on the tickets) for the ride and have a 5-minute wait (definitely worth it if the current wait time is 2 hours). But here’s the caveat (that wasn’t made clear to me), you can only get one FASTPASS per person every two hours. So plan your trip wisely. Figure out a priority list of “must see” rides and then get a FASTPASS for the ones highest on your list with the longest wait times. A lot of rides have very little to no wait time, so you won’t need FASTPASS for those (and I’m not sure they are offered for them actually). Also, we’re on Verizon for our cellphones and they have an app that tells you what the wait times are currently for each ride at each park. This was SO helpful. I think there are apps for iPhones and Android phones too. I would definitely get it and play around with it a bit before you go.

Disney lets you make custom maps for free and they’re really nice keepsakes for after the trip. If you go on their website, you can pre-program which attractions/events you really want to do and they will mark them on these really detailed, pretty maps for you and send them to you before your trip. They’re free, so you might as well! (plus, they are much prettier than the generic park maps):

https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/wdw/myVacation/customizedMaps/index?id=CustomizedMapsFlashPage

Okay, that’s it. I know that’s a lot of information. Feel free to email me if you have any other specific questions! And have a really wonderful time – I’m sure you will :)

Many may enter, but only one may leave . . .

Okay, so parenting isn’t exactly a gladiatorial event, but some days it feels pretty close. I think it’s funny sometimes that they call it the “terrible twos” since our 26 month old has been having temper tantrums since she was 10 months old (with the full throw-down, leg kicking, fist pounding, shrieking accompaniments – fun stuff). She’s temperamental and mercurial in the best of times. One minute, she’s sunshine and song, dancing and prancing and being the funniest, most magical creature I have ever had the privilege to know. The next, she’s in full lock-down, siege mode where I am the castle and she’s the rampaging, invading forces.

It’s usually instigated over something really important, like I put a cap on a bottle for the 3rd time without asking her first although she was fine with the first two times, or I sat down when I should have known that I needed to stand (all day long, for no reason), or I wouldn’t lift her for the 10th time with her wrapped around my standing leg (try doing dead lifts of 30 pounds on one leg while standing on the other leg and not holding on to anything – seriously, try. I double dare you), or I wouldn’t give her a sip of my wine (which I now needed because of the aforementioned episodes).

And forget “choose your battles,” every single little thing with her is a battle. Whether or not we change her overly wet diaper (for some reason she’s very attached to keeping that used diaper on – or more likely, she just doesn’t want to bend to our will), whether she has anything decent to eat for dinner that isn’t another piece of chocolate, whether she has to wear clothes rather than run around naked, whether she gets to play with our electronics (remote controls, phones, computers, cameras, etc. – and yes, she perfectly well knows the difference between the real thing vs. toys vs. ones that no longer work), everything is a confrontation between her agenda and ours. In trying to get her to explore a tree house at the Arboretum last weekend, I told her explicitly that she could NOT go in the tree house and I swear, five seconds later, she was running towards that thing with full determination (luckily, she is still too young to fully grasp reverse psychology, sarcasm, or irony – the latter two of which keep me sane).

I think what astounds me is how these personality quirks are genetic rather than environmental, because she is basically the worse parts of my husband and myself. She gets her grumpiness and quick temper and quick boredom from him, her stubbornness and impatience and opinionated, fussiness from me, and she’s only two years old! While I know we will be grateful that she’s such a –strong– personality later in life, it’s difficult to envision such a future on those days when you feel defeated by your toddler and it’s only 7:05 in the morning.

This probably makes me a bad parent, although I think this just makes me an honest parent, but there are days when I despair. Sometimes I feel like all we do is argue and wrestle (literally and figuratively) and compromise grudgingly, but somehow in such a way that neither of us really wins. Despite the fact that I would never, ever lay a finger on her and have never done so, there are times when I just want to wring her tiny, beautiful neck or scream in bloody frustration. But of course, we do none of these things. We may scream and fling our limbs in sheer fury and exasperation on the inside, but on the outside, it’s business as usual: setting the rules and explaining the consequences and being consistent with quick judgment, time and time and time again.

Sometimes, I want to just walk away and check myself into a hotel somewhere with room service and housekeeping and a pool and basically have the ability to read a book and eat a meal in peace and quiet and sleep in past 6:30am. But as someone once so very nicely pointed out, parenting is the job without sick days or vacations or holidays. Part of what is so difficult is the relentless nature of it all. I will always care about her health and safety. It’s not like I’ll just give in the 50th time she asks to play with the scissors or not yell at her the 100th time she tries to shake off my hand and dart into a parking lot or off the sidewalk into the street. It is a war, not a battle, an unceasing war where the primary objective will never, ever end. But it is also the most important war in which anyone could ever engage. And the reward, the victory, is the mental and physical and emotional health of an individual. My individual, the one I adore.

I should mention in all fairness that we are also deeply enthralled by her and that she is enchantment and light itself. She is also funny and smart and adorable and loving and quirky and creative. No one can make me laugh or seize my heart so quickly and thoroughly like she does (excepting my husband of course). And there’s no one in the world I want to give my very best to, every moment of every day, like her. But there are days when “grin and bear it” is more than just a phrase. I imagine it’s a bit like special forces training or completing a triathalon or surviving torture. Because some days, I swear, experience in all of those with a liberal dose of child development psychology couldn’t hurt. In the meantime, we try to cherish the good moments, bear the bad ones, and know there’s a glass of wine waiting at the end of the day.

The Mean Girls

Like most women, I was neither the popular nor the outcast at school. I was fortunate enough to have a group of close friends I could be certain of and who shared interests with me. Junior high and high school were fine. Not great, I have no fantasies of ever returning, but nonetheless, no worse than a season of “Survivor.” I had hoped though that over time the “mean girls” would somehow grow up, mellow with age, and in general, have that karma-botox that somehow smoothes out their sharp edges.

Well, recently, I have been proven wrong. Two separate instances have reminded me that the “mean girls” still exist and in full force. Some are the “mean girls” of my youth (literally), all grown up. They are still catty, they are still spiteful, they still believe they own the world. And I compare them to myself and my friends who seem perfectly “normal” and nice to me and I see very little differences in the circumstances of our current lives. No significant differences in income or neighborhood or access to the luxuries of middle-class parenting. But their sense of entitlement continues to wrap them in a safe cocoon of superiority. I wonder if this is what it’s like to be born into nobility – to know from birth that you are somehow better, brighter, prettier, stronger; or at least to be raised with these beliefs.

What baffles me though is when I encounter the new breed of “mean girls,” the ones I have only met recently as an adult. Maybe they were someone else’s mean girl in school and it is only that they are out of context for me that I am baffled by them. I compare them to my circle of friends and again, I fail to notice any differences in attractiveness or intelligence or education or income or neighborhood. If anything, they seem to fare worse than those women that I am closest to both locally and from afar. Is it then a symptom of insecurity? Is it the slight failure to keep up the the Jones’ that inspire such cattiness from otherwise lovely women who are grouped together to support one another? Are cliques, although perfectly natural and understandable, a necessity of all social interactions? But it’s not the cliquey nature of the interactions, but the seeming superiority of a particular group within the group that continues to baffle me.

Perhaps this is the result of observation and that to some other person, I was a “mean girl” once. If this is the case, my sincere, humble apologies. But somehow I doubt my book wormish, music loving, poor dancing, cultural embracing self would ever be cool enough to be a “mean girl.” And I can only hope my daughter will follow these every so nerdy footsteps. Good friends are the bunkers we have in this battlefield of female interaction. May her friends be as true and steadfast as mine.

Red pill or blue pill?

There was an article this morning in the newspaper (online) regarding overmedication and over diagnosis of young children, even infants. The profiled child had received multiple diagnoses before the age of 3 including autism, bipolar disorder, hyperactivity, insomnia, and oppositional defiant disorder. As a result, he had been prescribed an increasingly greater number and potency of medications originally developed for adults. Finally, after years of bouncing around from one medical practice to another, he was weaned off of these meds and given a much simpler diagnosis: attention deficit disorder. Or in other words, he’s a kid. An active little boy, to be fair, but a perfectly healthy little boy.

There are many aspects of this case and the other cases like his that are frustrating and worrying. The over diagnosis of our children, and our infants for that matter, causes an inaccurate estimate of the burden of disease in our society. Do we really have an increased population of children with attention deficit or are we more quick to label a child who will grow out of this phase of hyperactivity and mellow with age? How do we distinguish between an active toddler and one with a real, treatable disorder? Many of these drug therapies were originally created for adults. What are the long term effects on the developing body and mind of a child? Several drugs prescribed to children have side-effects. One side effect of some of these drugs is insomnia, so a sleep aid is prescribed. If a side-effect of that sleep aid happens to be constipation, then do we also prescribe a laxative? Is this a pharmaceutical merry-go-round without an exit? Is it better to develop novel behavioral “therapies” for children or to medicate them to the point that they are blank, vacant automatons, albeit more easily handled?

The questions are far more troubling than the responses. As parents, it’s important to ask the questions. Ask them frequently, ask them more than once, keep asking until the answer makes sense and is consistent. Don’t be afraid to ask for a second opinion. Doctors are also human, some are parents, some are more prone to diagnosis and prescribing drug therapies. But in the end, none of them are the parents of your child and thus have different priorities than you regarding the health and welfare of your child. And regardless of all the schooling and training, none of them are an expert on your child like you are – you know best what is “normal” behavior from your child. What is the regular energy level and appetite for your child or affection level. Doctors are here to help, to be a source of information and a safeguard against real health threats for your child. But they are not perfect. If something feels wrong, it might very well be – or it might be the best therapy and you just need more information. Therefore, ask, ask, and ask again until it makes sense to you.

Are there children who have real medical disorders? Of course. Do they need the attention and care of doctors? No question. But is there also a spectrum of childhood behaviors and activity that encompasses hyperactivity and diminished attention span? I believe there is indeed. Our 26 month old toddler is incredibly active. She has a difficult time sitting still for a meal let alone all day long. Her preferred activities are to run around the median of the house, dance, play ring-around-the-rosy, enjoy the playground with swings and slides, and practice throwing and catching objects. She also likes to read and draw and impress shapes into playdo, and she loves to climb her parents like a monkey gym. Does this mean she has attention deficit disorder? I doubt it. Her doctor thinks she’s a perfectly healthy little toddler as well.  She may be very active, she may hate to sit still or lie still (e.g. diaper changes) when she is forced to stay still, but I attribute that to a battle of our wills and her increasingly stronger desire for independence and control. I’m also fairly reassured that at this rate, the risk of childhood obesity and its related conditions are fairly low for her.

I also feel grateful every single day for her health, for her love, for her very existence. I know without question that we are one of the lucky ones and we are blessed to have her in our lives. Would I move heaven and earth to find a cure if anything ever happened to her? Of course, without doubt, no question. But I would question every step of the way, I would find second and third opinions, I would assemble a team of doctors and experts who believe in her and her holistic health, almost as much as her father and I would. And no matter what, I would love her for who she is, the totality of her, screaming tantrums, opinionated assertions, and refusals of kisses and all. Bring on the terrible two’s – I’m just grateful I have a munchkin I can hold and kiss, even if it is against her will sometimes when she would rather be at play.

The ugly stepchild – childhood vaccinations

There has been a lot of attention in the media about autism. Celebrities have taken up the cause; childhood vaccinations have become the hot culprits. While autism is an extremely heartbreaking condition and more research is strongly warranted to identify the causes, in research, it is just as important to understand what does NOT cause a condition (e.g. negative associations) as it is to understand the risk factors. Multiple national, international, large and small population studies have been performed and an association between childhood vaccinations and autism does not exist.

There are two main arguments against vaccinations causing autism. The stronger argument is one of causation. If the accused preservatives in vaccinations do cause autism, than the eradication of thiomersal (the preservative) almost ten years ago should show an associated decrease in autism diagnoses 3-5 years after removal from vaccination production. However, this is not the case. Unfortunately, autism diagnoses continue to rise even as the “cause” has been eliminated. The second argument is temporality, or timing of vaccines and autism. Diagnoses of autism tend to occur in toddlers, right about the same time that they are given the bulk of their childhood vaccinations. So one day they receive another set of vaccines and shortly thereafter, they are diagnosed with autism. What if those same children were diagnosed first and then were given routine, childhood vaccinations shortly thereafter. Would we blame autism on giving the children vaccinations?

My heart goes out to anyone who has been affected by autism, and parents most of all. But mass hysteria regarding the (unfounded) causes and potential risk factors of autism will not help the search for a cause and the greater search for a cure. Wherever the research may lead, we know now that childhood vaccinations are not the culprit.

Decreased vaccination rates among children however have indeed caused outbreaks of measles and whooping cough. Vaccinations and antibiotics are two of the greatest medical advances of the last century. We live in a cosseted time where we no longer see the ravages or graveyards of the great scourges of measles and mumps and rubella and polio. We no longer have outbreaks that will cripple a generation, both literally and reproductively. We rarely see the types of fatalities that an epidemic of tuberculosis or diptheria or plague may cause, at least not here in the United States. But the stronghold against these epidemics, the safeguard for our children, lies in the vaccinations that we provide for them. As those vaccination rates decrease, we infer upon the entire population a vulnerability to the return of these agents.

Some may argue that vaccinating your children is a private, personal issue and parents should have the ultimate choice in whether or not to vaccinate. My main problem with this argument is that “herd immunity” (protection of the entire population) depends entirely on the high rates of vaccination of all eligible members of the population. Some will be unable to receive vaccines (e.g. compromised immunity, allergy to the ingredients in vaccines, too young, etc.) and we rely upon the immune status of the those who are vaccinated to protect the most vulnerable among us, as well as the population as a whole. When a family decides not to vaccinate their children, they not only put their children at risk, but all children in the population. This is similar to the argument against second hand smoke. While it may be a personal freedom to choose to smoke, you are robbing someone else of that same freedom when you expose them unwillingly to your decision to smoke when you share an environment with them.

Let’s not let the emotional fear of vaccinations causing autism (which has been shown by good research to not be true) cloud the very real threat of childhood infectious diseases that can seriously harm a child when the prevention is readily available and whose safety and efficacy has been shown for several generations. Any serious side-effect of vaccinations (called adverse events) are immediately reported and investigated by multiple agencies. Vaccine production and research commissions far less actual monies than pharmaceutical research, development, and production. There is no financial incentive to pushing vaccines on an unwilling population except for the prevention of future medical care costs when children fall ill from preventable diseases. And surely the desire to keep children healthy and safe should be the priority of both parents and doctors and the nation as a whole?

Perfect Bag - Many Compliments!

Below is a review for REI for the Haiku To-Go Shoulder Bag that we use as a Diaper Bag

http://www.rei.com/product/752091

Pros: Good Organization, Good Strap Length, Attractive, Easy Access, Enough Compartments, Great Color, High Quality

Cons: Uncomfortable

Best Uses: Shopping, Office, Traveling, Commuting

Describe Yourself: Practical, Modern, Career

This was the first diaper bag I bought after the Winnie the Pooh one we used when she was a newborn (shower gift from my mom) and I researched for days before deciding this was the perfect one. And luckily, it has turned out to be even better than expected. I love that I can fit diapers, wipe, changing mat, snacks, toys, books, and two sippy cups for her (one milk, one water), and still have separate compartments for my wallet and phone (two big pockets under flap), any important documents like passports (velcro inner pocket, nice and deep), a pacifier and bib and toddler spoon and fork (inside zip pocket), and all of my miscellaneous gear (outside zip pocket) like chapstick, tissues, pens, sanitizer, hair clips, etc.

About the bag not fitting water bottles - you just have to find the right size (reusable) bottles. We have both the Sigg and the Foogo Thermos bottles and they fit perfectly. A previous reviewer said a key clip would be nice - I use a small carbiner on my keys and clip it to the metal rectangular loop that holds the strap to the purse. Other reviewers complained about the rectangular loop turning vertical (which it always does), but that really is more aesthetic rather than functional and it won't wear down the strap over time. Finally, lots of reviewers said they would prefer a magnetic clasp, but I prefer the lock for two reasons: (1) it's a much more secure lock, so if you drop the purse or are traveling in crowds, you feel much more secure about it, and (2) you won't accidentally demagnetize your credit cards by having them too close to that strong magnetic closure (which happened multiple times with a previous bag that I had).

It does get heavy and slightly uncomfortable when it is fully packed (with two full 12oz sippy cups) and full container of snacks and fruit puree squeezes and books, etc, but that's because of the mass I am carrying, not the bag itself.

Overall, I love this bag, have received many, many compliments on it (I have the brown with the green and orange flowers), and have inspired several of my friends to get one too. So durable, wipes clean easily, completely worth the price. And like others said, I love the organization that keeps my stuff separate from my toddler's stuff.

Baby Gear – the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Feel free to disregard this entire list of course, but these are the things that we researched for weeks and ended up buying - some were more worth it than others:

Beds/Sleeping/Naps:
Amby Hammock (not really worth it - she enjoyed it for the first couple of months, but it's pretty expensive - I would skip this)
Arm's Reach Mini Co-sleeper (totally worth it - it has a much higher weight limit than other bassinets)
Baby Bjorn Travel Crib (much higher weight limits than the other pack-n-plays, much lighter, much easier to assemble - takes less  than 60 seconds, honestly)
Summer Infant Best View Color Video monitor (expensive, but totally worth it; sometimes babies will wake up briefly, then go back to sleep by themselves – if you go in, they will almost certainly completely wake up; also many babies talk or cry in their sleep; the video allows you to wait a few minutes to see if they are asleep or will go back to sleep by themselves)

Fisher Price Butterfly Garden Papasan Cradle Swing (totally worth it - this will let baby sleep/nap somewhere safe for the first three months while you do important things like eat or shower or sleep yourself; it's really important to get the plug in the wall model - you will go through batteries like water otherwise and the swing motion wears down fast as the batteries wear down)

Nature’s Purest Deluxe Organic Soothing Bouncer (bouncers are a safe place to keep baby in any room – always put it on the ground though, and they are super light to carry, unlike a pack-n-play; this will grow with the baby for the first few months, unlike a Moses basket, which is adorable, but will not last as long – also, the vibrations are soothing and they will love the music and love bouncing when they are a bit bigger) 
Vicks Nursery True Hepa Air Purifier (we didn’t use this as an air purifier as much as a white-noise machine; it was great to drown out the occasional outside noises – sirens, dogs barking, cars driving by, etc.; we even bring this on vacation with us and she sleeps great – we obviously don’t travel light :)

Kiddopotamus Swaddlemes (we started off using these, which are great, then had to do a double swaddle (one swaddle with a blanket, then swaddleme on top – I do not recommend swaddling for as long as we did, but it was the only way to get her to sleep)

Kiddopotamus Sleepsacs (these are great for babies who love to roll around in their sleep – this was also a good transition from swaddling to the crib)

Etsy.com (we still use sleepsacs, but the manufacturers stop making them at about 18 months size, so we get ours custom made on Etsy.com – we only have two in each size, but there’s no other way she would keep a blanket on her all night; added bonus, this keeps them from being able to climb out of their cribs – well worth it)

Transportation:
Graco Snugride Infant Carseat (totally worth it - it allows you to take a sleeping baby from car to stroller/house without waking up the baby; definitely worth getting for the first year, then transfering to a 2nd toddler carseat)

Britax Advocate Car Seat (this is the best on the market, according to many people, especially since it meets the highest safety standards)

Bugaboo Stroller (this was mostly worth it - we loved it, but she refuses to get in the stroller anymore, so it only really lasted us the first year; barring that, it was very useful the first year)

Baby Bjorn (we used this all the time, everywhere - much more useful the first year going to crowded places or where you want to be able to use both arms or where you want baby higher - e.g. the zoo, aquarium, etc.)

Chicco Backpack Carrier (not as comfortable for long periods, but still great for hikes or going long distances for a baby who refuses to go in the stroller; I also like the big sunshade on this model; others have recommended Deuter Child Carriers which seem to be more comfortable)

Slings are getting a bad reputation in some magazines because of potential suffocation risks - I had Charlotte in the Bjorn by two weeks old, so we never used a sling. We put her in once and she bawled her little head off.

Eating:
Born Free Glass Bottles (glass is the easiest to ensure fully sanitized bottles)

Medela Breast Pump Advanced Pump-in-Style (very efficient)

First Years Soothies Pacifiers (I love the one piece design to decrease any possible areas for contamination; also BPA free)

Svan High Chair (We loved that this is solid wood and fully adjustable; definitely get the chair pads that go with this)

Inglesina Fast Table Chair (we use this ALL the time and love that it folds flat and is very light and very stable - especially at restaurants, on vacation, at friends' homes, it's especially good as a booster seat in a booth at restaurants so the kids don't have to stick out at the end of the table; this could be used instead of a high chair)

Boon Squirt Baby Food Dispensing Spoon (this is great for one handed feeding - especially love the bigger hold so that it's harder for baby to fling away)

Happy Bellies Baby Food (all organic; we started with the rice cereal, then the multigrain/oatmeal, and then moved on to the frozen puree foods - so easy, so good, great variety)

Plum Organics Fruit Puree (these are fantastic on the go - in the car, out of the home, etc. baby can learn to drink them just like a juice box, but they are 100% fruit puree, nothing added)

Organic Cloth Diapers (we used these as burp cloths; go ahead and get cute ones for when you are out in public, but honestly, these are 4 times more absorbent and you can get a whole pack of them for cheap; you will go through burp cloths like crazy in the first few months)

Seventh Generation (we really like their laundry detergent and their dish detergent – we get both in the “free and clear” variety)

Diapering and Bath:
NaturePedic Organic Cotton Contoured Changing Pad (skip the changing table, you’ll only use it for the first year, if that; use any waist height dresser top and put this changing pad on top and presto! you have a changing table; also, this pad means that you can change baby anywhere – on the floor, on a coffee table, on a sofa, etc. so you don’t have to always carry baby up to the nursery to change diapers – also good for when guests come over with their babies)

Skip Hop Pronto Changer (this makes any bag into a diaper bag, or easy to pop into a back pack or in a stroller, etc. It’s got everything you absolutely need, and can easily transfer from one bag to another; love the extra large changing area too)

gDiapers (biodegradable, really cute colors and designs, almost as easy as a disposable (you have to wash out the waterproof liner with poopy diapers), better for baby – she only gets diaper rash when wearing the disposables which we no longer use at all)

Simple Human Trashcans (we found that almost all of them stink and are a pain to clean out; we just use a regular Simple Human butterfly lid trashcan to seal out the odor and we try to empty it regularly (like once a day or once every two days)

Nature Babycare Eco-Friendly Diaper Disposal Bags (these really cut down on odor as long as you use one bag per diaper – we tend to reserve these for poopy diapers and when we are out in public)

Summer Infant Soothing Spa and Shower (we love that this can grow with baby through the first year – our “shower” thing never worked, but maybe you’ll have better luck with it)

Nature’s Baby Organics Shampoo and Body Wash – Lavender (we love how this smells, we love the no tear formula, and of course that it’s organic)

In general, for baths, we keep it simple – use a cup to pour water all over baby, then use your hands to lather up the body wash and soap baby all over, then use cup to pour water all over baby to rinse off – we reserve wash cloths for the face.

Furniture: 
Crib – Babi Italia Pinehurst Lifestyle Convertible (we’re big fans of stationary cribs where the side does NOT drop down – there have been way too many recalls of sides that drop down unintentionally, catching little baby fingers; also we love that the convertible cribs will grow with the baby and can become a toddler bed, and then a full-size bed; this crib is so heavy that I cannot shake it at all – it is really solid)

Dresser (seriously, any low dresser that is waist high would be perfect for storing babies clothes (which will mostly be hung up anyway) and other linens and the top will double as a changing table with the above changing pad you can buy; we did a double wide dresser and the top was plenty for diapering supplies, toys, and changing mat; hint – we liked to put her mobile above the changing pad so she would stay still for diaper changes)

Dutailier Modern Glider and Ottoman - Glider/Rocking Chair/La-Z-Boy (you need somewhere to feed baby and rock baby, but it doesn’t really matter what you get; we have both a super comfy, overstuffed La-Z-Boy that I absolutely love; we also have a glider/ottoman set that my husband really likes, gut gives me motion sickness)

Misc:

Fisher Price Jumperoo (another great place to put baby when they graduate from the bouncer or the swing – allows you to do things like cook or eat or shower, knowing that they are safe)

Evenflo Exersaucer (like the jumperoo, a great way to entertain baby while you get do something else – like email or FB :)

If you had to get only one, I would get the Exersaucer because it also can bounce up and down; but our baby loved the Jumperoo SO much and had so much fun, it was worth it for us

Bumbo (this is another great transition piece between when baby can hold his or her head up (about 2-3 months) until baby can sit upright by him or herself – this allows them to be upright without you holding baby all of the time and lets you do things independent of constantly holding baby; also, super light and easy to move)

Skip Hop Playspot (this is a cushy mat that you can use like an area rug – if baby spits up or spills something on the mat, it’s certainly easier to clean up than carpet; also, it’s transportable so you can bring it on vacation if you’re driving somewhere – we did)

Digital SLR Camera (while this is totally an unnecessary expense, baby and toddler photography requires an incredibly quick camera to catch a pose before they are on the move again; non-SLR camera’s are just slower so that by the time you frame the shot and push the button, the baby/toddler is already off doing something else – we have lots of blurry shots of our baby crawling/running away on our camera phones, for instance; DSLR cameras are coming way down in price – I would strongly suggest getting one)

Maternity photos (I think these are great to capture this fleeting time – and if you decide to get them only for yourself, no one else ever has to see them; but you can’t change your mind after the baby’s born to get them, so I personally think it’s worth it to get them; in San Diego, we really love Jeff Davidson at Cosmic Frogs Photography – the photos he takes are really something special; we also did newborn photos, 3-months, 6-months, and 12-months; we would have done 9-month photos, but we had moved by then)

4D Ultrasound (again, a total luxury item, but you can’t change your mind afterwards about getting them; and for less than $100, we thought it was worth it for the photos)

Clothes (there’s little advice here because everyone loves to buy baby clothes; we would recommend at least a week’s worth of onesies and some swaddling blankets and cloth diapers as burp cloths and a sleepsac for the first month or three – these will be the staples of what you need around the house and for sleeping; all of the other outfits are “fun”; pre-walking babies do not need shoes, but socks with grips on the bottom are good)

BabyLegs (these are fantastic for crawlers to protect their knees and as a layering piece in case it gets cold out; they come in fantastic colors and designs and leaves baby barefoot to get better at walking AND leaves diaper accessible, which I love – I hate taking tights off to change a diaper)

Robeez Shoes (we loved these as first walking shoes – they are super, super soft and allow baby to really feel the ground through the thin soles – better for walking)