Let them eat cake . . .

There are two things that really stress out new parents about the welfare of their newborns and toddlers: how much they sleep and what they eat. These two topics alone can account for the majority of discussion board topics, most chats at playgrounds and playgroups, and can cause unfortunate insomnia (in a demographic that gets little enough sleep as it is). Since a previous post discussed sleep training, this one will discuss nutrition and eating habits.

When I was  pregnant, I became slightly neurotic about what I ate and regressed to the idea that "my body is a temple," in this case, a very imperfect incubator of a very precious package. Before I became pregnant, I thought I would try to eat organic as much as possible, limit the amount of "empty" calories, and eat fully balanced meals of lean proteins and lots of varied veggies. Unfortunately, my version of morning sickness meant that for the first four months, all I could keep down were cream-colored foods: bread and bagels, pasta, oatmeal, rice, and potatoes. The very thought of vegetables made me run for the bathroom, and protein was a close second. But as the months passed, I was able to add more selections to the diet, although nothing cheered me up as much as a good frozen yogurt from a local chain, Golden Spoon. My argument was that all of those probiotics and calcium were good for me and the baby, right? Well, all in all, we did okay during the pregnancy and I gained a healthy enough weight overall (22 pounds). Although our baby was slightly on the larger size (8 pounds, 11 ounces), she was two weeks late and babies gain 1/2 a pound a week.

In the beginning, nutrition was pretty easy before the advent of finger foods. She was breastfed exclusively, and then started on "solids" at 4 months (because her weight category had dropped from the 90th to the 75th to the 50th percentile). But there were plenty of organic choices in baby's first rice cereal and then multigrain cereal and even frozen baby foods. And she was a good eater, so it was all quite simple for awhile. Then at 9 months old, she started eating small morsels of what we ate. Well, right away, she was getting less than the 100% organics that she had originally received since we can hardly afford for every bite of our pantry and fridge to be organic. But we try where we can to buy all natural, organic foods; going out to restaurants and having her eat the same foods as us also lowered our control over the nature of her foods.

When she first started eating solids with us, she was an adventurous eater and would happily try little bits of whatever we were eating, with the exception of very chewy meats like steak or pork. As we started eating out with her more, we were dismayed by the fried, fatty foods found in most kids menus. So she would often get either a bit of whatever we were having, or if that was not viable, we would often order her an additional entree of fresh fish with a side of veggies. And she would happily have salmon or cod or catfish or halibut or sole, to the wonder and amusement of our friends and waitstaff.

But then she got older, and she learned to say "no" (actually, it was more drawn out, more of a quiet "noooooooo"), and she learned the words of foods that she preferred (e.g. "dabees" = strawberries or "blabees" = blackberries or "yogurt" or "cheese" or "bread"). That's where it became more complicated. So although I will not become a short order cook and make a separate meal for her every evening, there still remains the puzzle of what to do when she will not eat her dinner. For quite awhile, this caused great anxiety and stress in our lives. Then we realized a few important and simple truths.

First, a baby's stomach is the size of his or her fist. That's pretty small. So a full meal can actually be significantly smaller than you might think. Also, it's what he or she has in a full day or sometimes even in a full week that is important, not at each individual meal. So we try to make sure that over a week, she has a mostly balanced diet of protein, carbs, and fats.

We start every morning with protein; we especially like the egg white quiche they carry at Costco because they are (1) easy to heat and affordable, (2) contain only egg whites, not egg yolks, and (3) have vegetables in them - either spinach or artichokes and cheese. This means that she has at least one (often two) servings of protein and vegetables first thing in the morning (some mornings she'll have an omelet or scrambled eggs instead, but she always gets protein first thing). If she doesn't eat any more protein all day long, at least she has her servings in the morning.

Second, we make sure that we always have plenty of fresh fruit that she likes in the house. There will be many meals and days even when she won't eat any other vegetables except the veggies in her quiche or breakfast. But we figure vitamins and minerals are just as good in fruit as they are in veggies. She isn't diabetic, she isn't dieting, she is a growing child who is very active, and there's nothing wrong with a healthy appetite for fruit. We often have plenty of berries in the house (also high in antioxidants) and bananas and pineapples and apples and melons, and she loves them all. We also absolutely love the convenience and nutrition of organic fruit purees (nothing added, simply pureed organic fruit, period) such as Plum Organics or Ella's Kitchen. They come in convenient vacuum sealed containers and need not be refrigerated - toss a couple in your diaper bag and your good to go for the day, in any eventuality. So if she eats no other veggies in a day, I know she will have her daily servings of fruits, easy.

Third, we try to keep nutritious savory snacks in the house that can work as a meal when need be, even if it is not ideal. We have a bread machine that is a workhorse, churning out fresh, organic breads twice a week (for a fraction of the price of store bought organic breads) and we have plenty of dairy on hand: organic yogurts, cream cheese, and string cheese. If she won't eat anything else, she'll often happily have bread and cream cheese. Not great, but not worse than pizza really. We also have plenty of multigrain, organic cheese crackers and trail mixes (we like Annie's Organic Bunny Snacks - liked goldfish crackers). They make for convenient at home and on the go snacks that fulfill some of her fiber and protein requirements.

Fourth, we try to eat as many meals together as possible. Usually at least breakfast and dinner, and often times lunch too. She gets a small plate of whatever it is we're eating, and we encourage her at least try something once. Often if she sees us eat it, she's more likely to want to try it (even if this is off of our plates rather than her own plate). And we try, try, and try again - many "experts" in infant and child development suggest that it can take up to 10 exposures to a food before a child will like it, or at least be willing to eat it.

Finally, we just try to relax about it all. She will eat what and how much she wants, when she wants. We find it important not to pressure her to finish her plate or eat if she's not hungry. Again, most babies eat more at breakfast and lunch and less at dinner, and they go through growth spurts and periods of leaner meals. It's important to understand and accept that - a big, heavy baby is not necessarily a healthier baby as a recent article has shown. We try to rely on some common sense - if she's hungry, she will eat, if she's not, that's fine too. She's hardly going to starve if she misses a dinner or two (or even three or four). In the end, it's far better to nurture in her a healthy relationship with food and culinary curiosity than turn mealtime into a battleground. And the occasional birthday or special occasion cake never hurts either; after all there will plenty of time for dieting and gyms in their future. For now, let them eat cake and play at the park.